Zoobie

Last night I was having a conversation with a group of people and the term "Zoobie" came up. Someone asked what a zoobie was, and the subsequent pondering led to this entry.

A zoobie is a derogatory term for a certain genre of people who attend BYU. The term evolved from the word zoo, which was a common nickname for the university in the 80's. Possible explanations for this nickname may include the chaotic, often carnival-like atmosphere of raging hormones and desperate hunting for mates.

A zoobie is the quintessential BYU student. A zoobie is just a member of the flock of sheep. Zoobies don't think for themselves, they are the oblivious morons who roam BYU campus in droves.

You can't tell a zoobie by appearance only, although there is certainly a stereotyped look. Preppy sweater boys and plastic girls are often associated with zoobiehood. The real determining feature of a zoobie is what they do.

You can often tell a zoobie by their choice of activity. Zoobies go tunnel singing. Zoobies hike the Y more than once a semester, for reasons other than exercise. Zoobies attend every single sporting event, whether they give a crap about women's gymnastics or not. Zoobies laugh at every joke your idiot professor makes, even if he uses the same one everyday. Zoobies believe everything they are told by authority figures. Zoobies are under the impression that the only important thing at college is to hook up with someone. A zoobie may be looked at as the unconditional conformist. When it comes down to it, Zoobie is just the term created by elitists to describe the most base people on campus. In the BYU caste system, Zoobies belong below the Untouchables.