In Love
I had a friend across the ocean pose a very un-missionary-like question last Wednesday - "How do you know when you're in love?" I imagine this question sprung from a current relationship that is approaching a crossroads. This is my response to her question:
It's a very good question, one that can be answered from many different angles and perspectives. Of course there are different degrees of love in every relationship. But actually being in love with someone . . . well that's quite involuntary isn't it? I've been smitten with many girls in my short career and it was always the same story. Suddenly all the free space in your mind is filled with daydreams and imagined conversations and ideas for perfect dates. I've often said to other missionaries out here that the one you love is the one that occupies your mind when there's absolutely nothing else to think about - when you're on a busride or those last fifteen minutes before you fall asleep.
One could also argue that if you really love somebody you'd do absolutely anything to make them happy. Their happiness is your happiness. Real love is by definition unselfish. Real love is a kiss on the cheek when you when you don't expect anything in return (or maybe that's just shameless affection).
I guess my question is - at what point do we differentiate between "being in love" and "being twidderpated." I'd have to say that being in love is probably the most amazing feeling in the world. Think back on when you were the very happiest with your significant other, and you could probably say you were in love with them. Of course this could all just be some fairy tale nonsense I only want to believe in - a "movie-script ending."
Being in love with someone could also be a gradual process, that comes from fragmented revelation. You know, the kind of love that comes from experience, time and familiarity. I guess I would say that real love should stand the tests of time.
posted by stevesie at 2:45 AM
1 Comments:
Amazingly enough I do not have your address and was unable to write you up to this point. I didn't think you'd continue blogging. I was looking as some of my past entries when curiosity struck and I decided to check on yours... low and behold.
First of all I find it very interesting that given this blog entry the next comment you received was a pornography spam. (A very disturbing one at that.)
But I wanted to express my thoughts on love. I think you're right. The person of which you have those feelings for occupies your mind. I think we can somewhat distinguish between twitter and real love by evaluating how the individual occupies our thoughts. We want to make the person happy. We daydream of time that we can spend with him/her in an intimate setting or activities we can participate in that will bring enjoyment to both. When we are in love we can express ourselves sincerely and intellectually without worrying about coming off too smart, opinionated, or emotional. Around that person you feel that you are the most you. I mean that you are completely yourself but enhanced by the other person's support.
You have always been such a thoughtful person and writer. I'm glad to rediscover your blog. Your mission sounds challenging and wonderful. I love learning about other cultures and am fascinated by what you've been writing. I hope all is well!
Em
2:55 PM
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